A plea to Estée Lauder (and everyone else developing beauty products)
As a society obsessed with youth, there are a zillion products out there designed to disguise, delay or dissolve the signs of aging. Whether your perceived problem is crow's feet, discoloured teeth or thinning hair, there's something for that. But as I stare down my 44th birthday, I'm noticing several body parts that are looking positively OLD, and which the beauty industry has been ignoring. Dear Ms. Lauder, there are billions of dollars up for grabs here!
First of all, I have become self-conscious of my armpits (axilla). No one ever told me that my pits would get old! There’s that new and extra pinch of fat between the upper chest and shoulder that no amount of dumb bell raises seems to erase.
But that’s not even the worst of it. I’m developing pit wrinkles and a propensity for rash burn like never before. And the texture’s become less smooth. I’m slightly ashamed to admit I’ve started using foundation to even out pit skin tone.
And then there are my elbows. A few years ago a friend’s husband told me he can always tell a woman’s age by checking out how much saggy skin gathers around the elbows when arms are hanging straight. Thankfully he is now her EX-husband. Exfoliator helps keep the skin smooth, but there isn’t much one can do about sagging skin without going under the knife. Is there even such a thing as an elbow lift? Seems a tad extreme. Someone needs to develop an elbow tightening cream. Hopefully that wouldn’t impair my ability to bend my arms.
Just above the knees? See above.
Recently I was looking at a picture of my 3-year-old niece and I was struck by just how white the whites of her eyes are. Whiter than white. No veins or sun spots (yes, we get sun spots on our eyes). Mine now have permanent red veins creeping further toward the iris, and if I’ve had more than three drinks, a new vein pops up and hangs around for a day or two.
Believe it or not, there’s a surgical procedure where the surgeon removes the discoloured parts of the membrane that covers your eye, and then the body naturally regenerates new membrane. The promised result is a whiter sclera (that’s the white bit). But messing with your eyes for no good reason seems more than a little extreme, so I think I’ll wait until someone develops drops that actually work. (The ones that are on the market now can actually make redness worse, according to many doctors.)
I’m wondering if the reason no one’s making products to address these issues is simply that they’re impossible ones to treat without taking drastic measures. Perhaps I should just allow my armpits to grow old gracefully.
Top photo: Eirikso/flickr