Kristina’s Laws of Petty Grievances

Thursday, 18 July 2013 | Tags: , , ,

What goes up must come down. All good things must come to an end. If something can go wrong, it will. We’ve heard ‘em. And now, I’m adding to them. I call these Kristina’s laws. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

1. If you think you forgot to lock the door/turn off the oven/unplug the curling iron, and you race home to check, you are wasting your time.  You did do this thing and you are just losing your mind.

2. Despite close inspection, if you don’t wipe the public toilet seat before you sit on it, you will sit on pee.

3. If you have only a short connection time between flights and you are concerned that your luggage won’t make it, fear not. Both you and your luggage will miss the flight.  

4. Regardless of materials used, if you want your new jeans to give after wearing, they won’t. And conversely, if you don’t want them to stretch, they will totally bag out in all the wrong places.

5. If you buy those expensive shoes now, you will find them on sale later. If you don’t buy them now, they won’t have your size when they do go on sale.  

6. The day that you run out to the store in your rattiest sweat pants and greasiest hair is the very day you will run into your ex.

7. If you can’t find the keys, check the front door.  You left them in the lock overnight.

8. Diligently plugging your meter for years is no protection against a parking ticket the one time you’re 5 minutes late to your car.

9. If you are only carrying one pooh bag, your dog will go twice.

10. If your appointment is between 2-5, the repairman will come at 5:05. But if you try to run a quick errand beforehand, he will show up at 1:45.

11. If you bring a sweater, it will be 40 degrees Celsius.  If you don’t pack one, you’ll freeze your butt off and locals will tell you it’s the coldest it’s been in a decade.

Exceptions to these rules do occur. If they do, give great thanks to the gods of daily grievances that you’ve dodged a bullet. This time.

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  • twylaknull

    LOL….love it…mine is if you leave the vents open in your car cuz its so bloody hot…your guaranteed a downpour,if ya leave them closed…a sauna on wheels is just something to getused to

  • Victoria Frail

    Oh number 7… I do you all the time! Neighbours have actually knocked to let me know I left my keys in the door. *sigh*

  • http://www.annaandkristina.com/ Kristina

    Victoria, I’ve left mine in the back door for an entire day!! Brutal.

  • QueenBee29

    My petty grievance is when I voice my petty grievances and someone inevitably tells me to look on the bright side, to choose happiness, to not sweat the small stuff.

    • http://www.annaandkristina.com/ Kristina

      I hear you QueenBee29. Or another fave, “first world problems.”

  • April MacDonell

    Great list. I can feel my fists clenching too. Here is a list I created a long while ago.

    1. Women’s Washrooms: Why, oh why do “they” locate the opening of women’s washroom stall doors at an angle where the people outside can see us do our business? Except in England, in England you have your own private room with a floor to ceiling door and no gap…isn’t that heaven?

    2. Stickers on Retail Goods: Is there a reason why stickers on retail goods have so much glue that the glue cannot even be dissolved with a blowtorch?

    3. And speaking of stickers: Tell me why price tags on CDs/DVDs cover the Table of Contents and the movie summary?

    4. And speaking of CDs: What is it with CD wrappers? Have you ever found that mythical tab that releases the CD from its cellophane girdle?

    5. The Drive Thru: We suggest the “Drive Thru” be presented to the Olympic committee as a potential new sport. How frequently do the order-takers get the order right? Two points if you notice the mistake before you leave the drive thru lot; one point if you notice the mistake after you are on the road; five points if you drive back to correct the “misunderstanding” and a whopping 10 points if you send a complaint to Head Office.

    6. Ordering Coffee: Ordering “regular” coffee used to mean coffee with one cream and one sugar. Now I am afraid to order coffee without an interpreter

    7. At the cash register: Payment used to be a private act between you and the cashier. Now people in line breath down your back while you rush to finish your transaction and then they elbow you away before you have time to grab your change and receipt. Geesh.

    8. Holding Doors for People: You hold a door for someone. Wouldn’t it be nice to hear, “Thank you”?

    9. Crossing at the intersection: Hey, what about those pedestrians that don’t understand traffic lights or visual clues and stroll carelessly across the street with a double-decker coffee in one hand and a mobile in the other while the engines of 400 cars with anxious drivers rev in their ears?

    • http://www.annaandkristina.com/ Kristina

      Love #4. Packing in general. Clearly they don’t want me to actually get at the product, they just want me to admire it from afar.

  • tiger_lily_2

    If you wear white and don’t put a napkin on your lap you will drop something on yourself. If you cover your lap with a napkin your outfit will come out unscathed.

    • http://www.annaandkristina.com/ Kristina

      FOR SURE. Can’t believe I forgot that one. This also happens to me when I wear silk and EVERY time I wear my tan leather skirt. I literally do not wear it now around any sort of food. Ever.

  • Jessi

    If I wait all summer to wear a dress, I miss all of the perfect “dress weather”. But if I actually do wear one, it’s the windiest day of the year. 😛

  • CanadianErin

    SO TRUE! I have had most of these happen… in the last year.